*Disclaimer: If you are offended by swearing, stop reading now….*
I will never forget the day my sweet little angel muttered his first word. Actually it was more than one word, his first utterance was actually a phrase. I had placed Shea on the changing table to change his diaper and he looked up at a picture on the wall, looked me square in the eyes and said, “Mama, what’s that?” I was speechless – my kid is a genius! I thought, swelling with pride. And he has not stopped talking since; Shea is a genuine motor-mouth. Anyone who has met him will tell you that this kid speaks well beyond his age level and has a vocabulary to rival any six year old. This is not always a good thing, however, when said child has two parents who are chronic potty-mouths.
I’m not sure why or where it came from as neither Matt nor I were raised in homes where swearing was acceptable. In my home, circa age 12 or so, I can remember testing a swear word or two, quietly uttering something and then quickly looking at my dad to see if he heard me. Yep! Oh Shit! His eyebrows would raise and he would start to get “cop-face” (yes, my dad is a cop) and then I would fly as fast as I could to my room before I got my butt “whooped”. (At this point I would like to point out that my parents never actually “whooped” me, but were known to dole out some pretty lengthy “groundings.”) And perhaps that’s the reason why we can’t speak a full sentence without throwing in a cuss word. It was so taboo growing up that when we were out on our own, it became a free-for-all. Whatever the reason, we can’t seem to clean up our language and have thus passed this affliction on to our child, who has now had some pretty famous quotes posted on facebook, which I will kindly share with you here.
New List: Shea’s naughty quotes